We hate discrimination but deep down are we racist?

In response to: Why Am I Not Attracted To Black Men

The United States east coast is a melting pot of cultures as there is people from every corner of the world. Everyone has an opportunity to better their situation and in many ways fulfill their dreams. I do cherish different cultures, I love eating Indian, Middle eastern and far many more types of foods my step father would ever dare put in his mouth. So why can't I bring myself to date someone with a different shade of color of skin?

I am open minded, I have many friends that are from different cultures and when it suits I find them funny, intellectually challenging and hot. I can admire the beauty of a slender black woman, the edginess of a Japanese girl, an adorable Thai and the presence of a latin woman. So why can't I be sexually attracted to guys that in many ways could be considered more handsome than the ones I tend to like? Am I not allowing myself to date them because I don't think I should be attracted to them?

The norm has always been - you are expected to date someone who looks like you and has a similar lifestyle. One hardly ever questions why a Jew must marry a Jew so why am I questioned when I don't want to date someone from a different race?

Whatever the issue is, it is a recurrent question in gay populations.

This maybe due to the limited pool of people there are to date and most assume they are entitled to date whomever they want.

Maybe it is the image of the slender and tall white figure most people think of when asked to think of the "typical gay"

In dating gay sites many times people are upfront about what they want and describe their perfect man to the race. I used to be one of these people and many times I would get emails from black guys telling me how racist I was and how much this hurt them. When I first read these messages I became defensive. If I date light skinned people why are they trying to date me and not other dark skinned people? After much thought and sleeping over it I came to the conclusion that it was a very offensive thing to do yet I couldn't help my sexual desire.

But why should I feel bad about my sexuality, I don't feel bad about such a stigmatized act as dating a guy so why should I feel bad about not being an interracial couple?

This question has been tried to be answered by many people like Jesse Bering. He explained how Homogamy be the solution to this question on his article Oedipus Complex 2.0: Like it or not, parents shape their children's sexual preferences on Scientific American. Freud always thought our parents had a way of affecting our sexual desires and I could not agree more. Homogamy fits into his theory. "Homogamy is marriage between individuals who are, in some culturally important way, similar to each other. Homogamy may be based on socio-economic status, class, gender, ethnicity, or religion.^[1] It is a form of assortative mating."-wikipedia

In the past I have dated black and Latino people, however, I was never truly sexually attracted to them. I myself am Latino so it is quite amusing to me why I am not attracted to other Latinos. Most people don't understand one thing about latin America: Just like in the United States, in Latin America there are descendants from Europe, Africa and pre-Columbian natives. Unlike in North America there has always been mixing of the races since colonization and the population became a race of many shades.

I myself inherited light skin genes. While living in latin america I was always made fun of as some of my cousins had nice olive skin and I was pale. Mom by the same token was light, with freckles and a red head. I can date Latin American guys that have light skin and look european or are a mix but I can hardly ever find a dark skinned native looking central American attractive. Am I experiencing Stockholm syndrome? Do I like white guys above others because I am told they are the hot models in magazines? Or am I experiencing homogamy due to my skin color and it doesn't encompass my whole race..?

Why have I not a problem fantasizing about dark Italiano men?

Sexuality is truly a complex matter, just like fetiches it is weird and unexplainable to some degree.